Just Breath

As I start to write this post, I keep hearing the song lyrics to Anna Nalick - Breath (2am) and funny enough, as I decided to look into the song a little bit more to see if it was an appropriate connection for this post, I was pleasantly surprised. 

An explanation for the songs meaning, which I found at a site called Genius, is that the song is about needing to breath, take a moment before carrying on.

This is basically what I was going to say. Sometimes in our world as people let alone parents we need to do as Anna sings cradle your head in your hands and just breath.

Below is a graphic on a very simple breathing exercise that I do regularly...sometimes a lot more regularly than others. For me, healing from depression and still working on anxiety, it is very easy for me to become triggered to the noise of happy children. Yes, the noise of happy children. I make that point because there has been many times that I have caught myself loosing the plot, telling them off, snapping simply from the noise around me combined with other environmental factors accompanied by my mind.

My mind is chaotic on its own a lot of the time, and when levels of noise or other forms of stimulation starts coming at me (so it would seem) I fly into fight and destroy mode to bring about quiet. This however does not bring peace as the destruction in my wake is always the ones I love the most.

The picture that I often see in this scenario is, myself standing like a raging warrior, red face and serious while a tornado of noise, mess, washing, fly poo and hoards of people are flying around me relentlessly trying to overwhelm me when an actual fact, I'm standing there red faced and serious with a reasonably tidy home, children playing and laughing and the fly poo not going anywhere any time soon.

This is why I breath, often my perspective is not anywhere close to reality. Breathing allows me to stop, calm my nervous system that is haywire, talk to myself and find out what is really going on here. Often it is that I need a rest, I need to put my feet up or I need to go and be with my children and allow them to make me laugh and play. 

I have now learnt to pre-warn my family by simply saying "I need to breath" and that is code for, back off and give mum some space. Its been important for me to teach my children and my husband that this is not a them thing, this is a me thing. Reassuring them that its not their fault I'm over emotional or making unhealthy communication choices in that moment. My hope is that when they reflect on their life with me, they can see that I tried to build up their confidence, teach them to be responsible for the choices they make, how to make things right and that their mum is by no means perfect or got her head together.

Breathing allows me to see how peace can come, shows me what I am holding or stressing/worrying about that I need to let go off, that I need to be more like my children, relax, play and have some fun.

Breathing changes the image of a red faced warrior, to a peaceful, beautiful, strong, calm and self-controlled warrior no longer causing unnecessary destruction to her family but ready to fight for what her family needs, to protect her children and support her husband. Pretty much wonder woman....although I may need to start working out a little but, but that's a battle for another day.

The power of simple activities. Breath on the toilet, doing the dishes, folding the washing, having the coffee, watching the kids, during that tv show, in the car for drop offs, whenever you can. 

Breath and be kind to your mind, body and people.