Understanding and Overcoming Parental Burnout

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Parenting is one of the most rewarding roles, but it also comes with immense pressure. Many parents struggle with exhaustion, emotional overwhelm, and self-doubt—but few talk about it. This week on HELP! we discussed Parental Burnout—what it is, why it happens, and what can be done to prevent it.



What is Parental Burnout?

Parental burnout is a state of chronic stress and exhaustion caused by the demands of parenting. Unlike temporary stress, burnout leads to emotional detachment, loss of joy, and physical symptoms like headaches and fatigue.

Signs of Burnout

  • Feeling emotionally drained and irritable.
  • No longer enjoying time with your children.
  • Physical exhaustion, sleep issues, and frequent illness.
  • Increased self-criticism or guilt about parenting.

Why Does It Happen?

  • High expectations and social pressure.
  • Lack of support systems.
  • Work-life imbalance.
  • Personal perfectionism.


What Can Help?

  • Letting go of perfection: No one is a perfect parent.
  • Asking for help: Leaning on whānau, community, and friends.
  • Taking care of yourself: Prioritising sleep, proper meals, and self-care.
  • Seeking professional support: A GP, therapist, or local support network can help.



Te Whare Tapa Whā

Te Whare Tapa Whā is a health model developed by Sir Mason Durie, describing well-being as a wharenui (meeting house) with four walls: 

  • Taha Wairua (spiritual well-being), 
  • Taha Hinengaro (mental and emotional well-being), 
  • Taha Tinana (physical well-being), 
  • Taha Whānau (family and social well-being), 
  • all supported by Whenua (land and environment) as the foundation. 
A strong balance across these areas promotes overall health, while weakness in one can affect the others. This model is especially helpful for parental burnout, as it encourages parents to care for more than just their physical needs—nurturing their spiritual well-being for purpose, mental well-being for stress management, social connections for support, and recognising how environment impacts resilience. A holistic approach like this can help prevent burnout and promote long-term well-being. Learn more at the Mental Health Foundation.


Final Thoughts

If you’re feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, know that you’re not alone. Parenting is challenging, and burnout is real—but there are ways to recover and thrive.

Want to dive deeper? Listen to the full conversation on Arrow FM or catch up with our blog series each week.



References

  • Roskam, I., & Mikolajczak, M. (2018). Parental burnout: What is it and why does it matter? Journal of Child and Family Studies.
  • Sorkkila, M., et al. (2022). Parental burnout and its effects on family dynamics. BMC Psychology.
  • Durie, M. (1998). Te Whare Tapa Whā: A Māori Model of Health.
  • Lemoine, C., et al. (2020). Cultural influences on parental stress and burnout. Frontiers in Psychology.

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