Identity Shift in Parenthood - Who Am I Now?

Becoming a parent is one of the biggest transformations in life. It changes how we spend our time, how we relate to others, and even how we see ourselves. Many parents feel lost in this transition, wondering, Who am I now? In this week’s HELP! episode, we explore the identity shift in parenthood, why it happens, and how we can reclaim our sense of self.

Why Do Parents Feel Like They’ve Lost Themselves?

• Less time for personal interests
• Changes in friendships & relationships
• Career shifts & financial stress
• New societal expectations

How Does This Affect Mental Health?

• Higher risk of postnatal depression & anxiety
• Burnout & exhaustion
• Feelings of isolation

How to Reclaim Your Identity as a Parent

• Reconnect with what you love – Even in small ways, hobbies and passions matter.
• Make time for yourself – It’s not selfish; it’s essential.
• Lean on your village – Traditional whānau support systems helped parents avoid isolation.
• Challenge unrealistic expectations – Being a good parent doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself completely.
• Seek support when needed – Whether it’s friends, a therapist, or a parenting group.

Final Thoughts

Parenthood doesn’t erase who you are—it adds to it. If you feel lost in this transition, know that you are not alone, and reclaiming your sense of self is not only possible, but important.

Want to hear more? Catch up on our conversation on Arrow FM or read our weekly blog posts.

References

• Sacks, A. (2017). What No One Tells You: A Guide to Your Emotions from Pregnancy to Motherhood.
• Abraham, E., et al. (2014). Neural pathways of parental caregiving. Nature Neuroscience.
• Jones, L., et al. (2021). Identity changes and postnatal mental health. Maternal and Child Health Journal.