The Ruth Project

Parenthood is a massive transition, both physically and emotionally. Many parents feel exhausted, forgetful, and emotionally drained for months or even years after birth—but is this just normal tiredness, or something more? This week on HELP! we explored Postnatal Depletion —what it is, why it happens, and how parents can recover. What is Postnatal Depletion? Postnatal depletion is a prolonged state of exhaustion caused by the immense demands of pregnancy, birth, and early parenting. Unlike postpartum depression, which is a mental health condition, postnatal depletion is a mix of physical, mental, and emotional fatigue . Symptoms of Postnatal Depletion Feeling physically weak or constantly tired Brain fog, forgetfulness Emotional exhaustion, increased anxiety Frequent illnesses due to weakened immunity Loss of identity or feeling disconnected What Causes Postnatal Depletion? Nutrient depletion (iron, omega-3, B12, magnesium) Lack of sleep and recovery time Hormonal changes after birth...

Parenting is one of the most rewarding roles, but it also comes with immense pressure. Many parents struggle with exhaustion, emotional overwhelm, and self-doubt—but few talk about it. This week on HELP! we discussed Parental Burnout —what it is, why it happens, and what can be done to prevent it. What is Parental Burnout? Parental burnout is a state of chronic stress and exhaustion caused by the demands of parenting. Unlike temporary stress, burnout leads to emotional detachment, loss of joy, and physical symptoms like headaches and fatigue. Signs of Burnout Feeling emotionally drained and irritable. No longer enjoying time with your children. Physical exhaustion, sleep issues, and frequent illness. Increased self-criticism or guilt about parenting. Why Does It Happen? High expectations and social pressure. Lack of support systems. Work-life imbalance. Personal perfectionism. What Can Help? Letting go of perfection: No one is a perfect parent. Asking for help: Leaning on whānau , c...

Parenting can be a journey full of joys and challenges, and one of the most common hurdles many parents face is understanding and supporting children with anxiety. In our recent HELP radio show, we discussed practical strategies rooted in both expert research and te ao Māori (the Māori worldview) to help families navigate childhood anxiety. Understanding Childhood Anxiety Childhood anxiety is not uncommon and can arise for various reasons, such as new social situations, academic pressure, or change in routine. Leading psychologists, like Dr. Anne Marie Albano, suggest that while it’s natural for parents to want to protect their children, finding a balance between support and independence is crucial. Over time, this balance can help children develop resilience, confidence, and the ability to handle stress more effectively. The Family’s Role in Building Resilience Research shows that children often model their parents’ emotional responses. Dr. Susan Bögels’ studies emphasize how mindf...

 In today’s fast-paced world, the pressure to achieve perfection as parents can feel overwhelming. We often hear the phrase "having it all," suggesting that parents can seamlessly juggle careers, family, and personal lives without breaking a sweat. However, this week's show on Help!, dismantled this myth, revealing the unrealistic expectations placed on parents, especially mothers, and the toll it can take on mental health. What Is the Myth of Having It All? The idea of “having it all” implies that one can succeed in every aspect of life simultaneously. For parents, this means excelling in their careers, being present for every milestone in their children’s lives, maintaining a perfect household, and finding time for personal fulfillment. Unfortunately, this notion creates a false ideal that is impossible to achieve and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and burnout. Societal Pressures and Expectations Society plays a significant role in perpetuating the myth of having it...

It's a beautiful day, hubby and I are meeting in his lunch break so we can shop for little miss's birthday present, feeling really proud about how we have saved for her present and excited for the upcoming events.  Then I think about those events, there is this sick feeling in my stomach again, this feeling has been following me around all week.  Every morning I've been feeling nauseous, I've been exhausted, overwhelmed, emotional, heightened anxiety. I even googled 'Can I get pregnant after a vasectomy', thinking that maybe this is what is going on. (As I discovered, 4 years on from that momentous event in hubby's life, it is highly unlikely for me to be pregnant).  We are standing in the book isle and then it hits at full force, a panic attack, I'm struggling to breath, my stomach is turning, my thoughts a racing, I'm trying not to cry, barely able to tell my husband what is going on. Outwardly I look fine, internally there i...

Have you ever experienced prejudice and discrimination while walking through perinatal mental distress? Have you seen it happen to others? Or have you experienced discrimination towards yourself in your own thinking which just kept pulling you down when it was already so hard to stand up? Then we would love to hear from you. We are currently gathering information around this issue from our local community. We would like to understand the common thoughts, behaviours and impacts upon individuals along with ideas about what we can do to help stop and change the way we as a community think, interact and support parents experiencing mental distress. Click this link below which will take you to our survey you can fill out, you can keep it completely anonymous and any information shared will be respected and kept private. Perinatal Mental Distress Survey Thank you for you support and help.